Finding light in the unexpected
I'm sitting here alone on the beach after a swim. I have no idea what I am doing here anymore.
My dream vanished like snow in the sun.
I miss the people I left behind. They used to come on holiday. Not anymore. Now I have to do it on my own — and I can't find a way out of it.
The sun warm, the sky blue. Everything looks like the life I dreamed of. But it’s not.
That night I wondered how long it would take before someone noticed I had stopped going. The answer came too fast.
On Sunday I joined yet another Meetup group. Walking this time. The weather perfect. Everyone friendly. No-one curious.
Last Saturday I went out. Came home early again. The music loud and young. Felt like an extra from a previous season.
I didn’t speak to anyone that day except the cashier at Mercadona. She called me “Carino”. I know she says it to everyone.
I missed arguments about nothing, someone stealing my toothpaste.
I thought freedom would feel lighter than this. Kept hearing Meat Loaf in my head: all revved up and no place to go.
Years later, the beach is still teaching me.
One day I noticed a couple arriving not far from me.One dropped into a beach chair, back facing the sea. Phone in hand, chasing something that kept slipping away. A black cloud already overhead.
The other spread a towel — but not for long. He moved to the water's edge and began creating. Sand, pebbles, shells, wooden branches. Completely in the game. Big smile. Free.
Same outside world. Different realities.
And I saw the crack in the loneliness,
where the light got in.
Albert